


Gay Rights and Gun Rights

by Katrina_Viv



Category: Jeffree Star (Musician), RPF - YouTube, Tiger King (TV)
Genre: 2024 US Presidential Election, AU, Alternate Universe - Politics, American Politics, Gen, Politics, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29700123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Viv/pseuds/Katrina_Viv
Summary: Joe Exotic finds his perfect running mate for 2024.AU where the G.W. Zoo is in Wyoming,Tiger Kingdoesn't exist, and Joe Exotic isn't in prison.
Relationships: Joe Exotic & Jeffree Star
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. I Saw a Tiger

**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of jokes and memes about "What if Kanye West became president and Jeffree Star was the first lady?" Well, I think my crazy political headcanon is a lot better. Joe and Jeffree actually have a surprising amount of things in common...

“Hi, I’m here with Jeffree Star...I’m his personal assistant. We talked on the phone the other day.” The young woman reached out to shake Joe’s hand as she introduced herself. “It’ll take us a little while to get hair and makeup done, but then we’d love to meet your tigers!”

Joe didn’t know or even really care who Jeffree Star was or why he wanted to take pictures with tigers...all he really cared about was that Jeffree was willing to pay a large sum of money to host some sort of fashion photoshoot at the G.W. Zoo.

Jeffree’s entourage had set up a makeshift prep area for wardrobe and makeup. Joe watched from a distance as various assistants combed out Jeffree’s long rainbow-colored wig, put an unnecessary amount of makeup on his face, and taped his clothing in place as needed to show the perfect amount of heavily tattooed skin. Jeffree was wearing a one-shouldered dress with a high slit up the skirt; it was mostly dark green, with some orange leopard-print accents, and accessorized with peachy-orange high heels.

 _A dude in a dress?_ thought Joe. _And high heeled shoes? What’s this sort of thing doing in Wyoming?_ He wasn’t going to complain about it though, not when there was money to be made. _He looks weirder the longer I look at him,_ thought Joe. _His proportions are all wrong._

“We’re ready!” called out Jeffree’s assistant. “Where’s our tiger?”

“Over this way,” said Joe, leading everyone over to the tiger he had chosen to be the star of the photoshoot.

Jeffree slowly approached the tiger, who was lying calmly on the ground.

“He won’t hurt ya,” said Joe.

“Are you sure?” Jeffree asked. The tiger yawned, showing a mouthful of gigantic teeth.

“They know not to mess around when I’m here,” said Joe, really hoping this was true and that no one would get their arm bitten off, like Saff had a few years back.

The photographer took hundreds of pictures as Jeffree went through his planned poses. First he knelt by the tiger, gently hugged it around its neck, and turned to stare intently at the camera, his lips parted in an emotionless way. Next, Jeffree sat on the ground and posed so he and the tiger both appeared to be gazing into a star-shaped handheld mirror. This was followed by various poses with snarly facial expressions and hands carefully positioned so that Jeffree’s long nails were reminiscent of claws. Finally, they got some pictures of Jeffree walking along the fence, with tigers in the background.

“I think we got some good ones,” Jeffree said. “I was hoping for someplace a little cleaner than this, but I’m sure my team can photoshop the images as needed. These heels need to look _sharp_. No dirt clods in the way!”

Jeffree walked away to take off the dress and heels and put on furry slippers and one of his pink bathrobes in preparation for the drive home; these photoshoot clothes sure looked nice, but they were rarely comfortable.

“That Joe Exotic sure is interesting,” said Jeffree’s assistant as she carefully packed up his clothes. “Did you know he tried to run for president in 2016?”

“What? Really?” asked Jeffree. “What’s his job here, anyway? I figured he was just a tiger handler.”

“He actually runs this whole zoo,” replied the assistant. “And he makes YouTube videos and tried to make a reality TV show at one point.”

Jeffree found this fascinating. He had to meet Joe Exotic himself. As the photoshoot team packed up all their supplies, Jeffree wandered into the Joe’s office/gift shop building. Joe was hanging out at the information desk, looking over some papers.

“Joe…” Jeffree said, leaning onto the counter. “This was a great photo opportunity. Thank you for having us here.”

Joe looked up and smiled. “You’re welcome!”

“I heard you ran for president in 2016?”

“I sure did!” said Joe. “I can show you my campaign ad.” Without even waiting for a response, he turned on the nearby TV so Jeffree could see the video.

_“First thing is...I am not cuttin’ my hair. I am not changin’ the way I dress, I refuse to wear a suit. I am gay. I’ve had two boyfriends most of my life. I currently got legally married, thank God. It’s finally legal in America. I’ve had some kinky sex, I have tried drugs through the younger years of my life. I am broke as shit, I have a judgment against me from some bitch down there in Florida, but I can tell ya I paid a fine with the USDA, and that is nothin’ but a civil fine, ladies and gentlemen. It does not mean that I was accused or convicted of any kinda animal cruelty thing. I built one of the biggest facilities and the nicest facilities for exotic animals in this country, as far as a private individual goes. I’m Joe Exotic, and don’t forget, I am now stepping my foot in the ring to run for president. And this is all paid for by the committee of Joe Exotic Speaks for America.”_

“Wow.” Jeffree was enthralled - this was by far the most interesting thing he had seen today. On a whim, he added “You should come by my place sometime. I’d love to get to know you better.”

Joe laughed. “I’m _married,_ dude! I’m not fallin’ for that.”

“No, no, no!” Jeffree replied, gesturing dramatically with his hands. “I meant more of a networking type of thing. Just as friends! I know a fellow entrepreneur when I see one.” 

“Ha!” Joe said. “You’re an entrepreneur? I thought you were just a pretty face here to take pictures.”

“ _I_ am Jeffree Star. I own a company called Jeffree Star Cosmetics, and I am the face of that company. I model for all our photoshoots.”

“Why’ve I never heard of you?”

“Well, I’m from California, and that’s still where my company is based. But I moved to Wyoming recently, and thought I’d take advantage of the new scenery.”

“Well, welcome to Wyoming, Jeffree!”

“My invitation stands. My assistant will call you. Bring a gun or two. I’ve got a shooting range in my backyard.”


	2. Here Kitty Kitty

Jeffree was a little bit nervous...Joe Exotic had actually accepted his invitation to come hang out at Jeffree’s ranch, and Jeffree wasn’t sure what they’d talk about, since Joe hadn’t seemed all that interested when they had talked in person. They’d just have to start out at the shooting range...they could get away without talking much out there.

Joe showed up in blue jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a leather jacket; Jeffree met him at the door in a blue tracksuit and stylish sneakers, with his hair in a ponytail and aviator sunglasses perched atop his head.

Joe didn’t mince words. “I’ve got a pistol and a rifle.”

Jeffree smiled. “I’ve got an AR-15. Want to go shoot some rounds?”

“I sure do.”

The two walked out to Jeffree’s personal shooting range, which had a nice selection of targets set up.

“You don’t mind if I stick something on one of those targets, do you?” asked Joe.

“What is it?” asked Jeffree.

Joe took a thumbtack and a folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket. He unfolded the paper and held it out so Jeffree could see. “That’s my enemy, Carole Baskin.”

Jeffree shrugged. “Sure,” he said. Nothing wrong with having an enemy - he certainly had some himself, but he’d never gone so far as to shoot bullets at pictures of them.

…

After having a great time shooting targets, talking about guns, and showing off, the two came back into Jeffree’s house, smiling. That had certainly been a great icebreaker.

“Want something to drink?” asked Jeffree. “I mean, like water or soda. I have  _ never  _ had a sip of alcohol in my  _ life _ .”

_ That’s an odd flex,  _ thought Joe. “Got some root beer?”

“I do! I’ve got plenty of snacks, too - Oreos, KitKats, ice cream, frosting, Cheez-Its...”

_ He thinks frosting is a snack?  _ wondered Joe.

“Want to smoke some weed?” asked Jeffree. “That’s my vice of choice.”

“Uh, sure,” said Joe. “But not for too long - I don’t want my husband to get worried about me.”

Joe started off the conversation by asking Jeffree more about what his photoshoot was for...that got Jeffree talking about clothes, one of his favorite topics. Joe didn’t share Jeffree’s fashion sense, but still found it interesting to hear him talk about the various things he liked to buy and wear.

“I’ve even got a custom Jeffree-Star-pink Louis Vuitton shoe trunk!” said Jeffree. Joe wasn’t sure what exactly that was, but he was happy that Jeffree was happy.

“I’ve got a nice clothing collection myself. You never know when something will come in handy. I mean, I’ve got an EMT jacket, I’ve even got a clerical collar...I used that for both a music video and for officiating my husband’s funeral.”

This was a little too much information for Jeffree to comprehend in a single sentence. “Your husband’s....funeral?” asked Jeffree. “I’m so, so sorry to hear that. But I thought you said he was waiting for you at home…?”

“I’ve had a few husbands,” said Joe. “Brian died from AIDS...John left me for a woman...Travis shot himself in the head...and now I’ve got Dillon.”

Jeffree wasn’t sure how to respond to this. He just felt sad for Joe.

“So what about you?” Joe asked. “Have you got anyone special in your life?”

“I had a boyfriend named Nate in California,” said Jeffree. “But he broke up with me and now he’s dating a woman in Michigan.”

“Sorry, dude.”

“Thank you.”

Jeffree was silent for a minute, then asked “Did you say something about a music video?”

“Yep, I’m a country singer. I wore that shirt for a music video called ‘Here Kitty Kitty,’ about how Carole Baskin killed her husband and fed him to her tigers.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I would love to hear more,” said Jeffree.

“Next time,” said Joe. “Or at least I’ll send you some of my YouTube videos about the situation.”

“I actually used to be a singer, too,” said Jeffree. “Not country, though. Electronic pop stuff. Here, I’ll show you one of my music videos.” He pulled out his phone and showed Joe the “Beauty Killer” music video.

“Wow. I like it,” said Joe. “How old were you when you did that? You look a lot different there.”

“Twenty-four,” said Jeffree. “That video has my old jawline, hairline, and teeth. I’m on a constant quest for self-improvement. I’ve got a lot more tattoos now, too.”

“I was wondering,” said Joe, “is that a tiger tattooed on your hand?” 

“Sure is,” said Jeffree.

“I’ve got a tiger tattooed on my chest!” said Joe, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it open so Jeffree could see.

“Um, cool,” said Jeffree, shocked by Joe’s behavior. “Wait a minute, are those  _ bullet hole  _ tattoos?”

“Yes they are!” said Joe.

“I’ve got a gun and a knife on my fingers,” said Jeffree, holding up his non-tiger hand. “Beauty and violence. What a combination.” He paused for a minute, lost in thought. “Anyway. We should do this again sometime. We haven’t even talked about our jobs! That was what I originally wanted to discuss, but this was a great conversation too. I think we’ve got more in common than I would’ve guessed.”


End file.
